Saturday, March 31, 2007
Kinda bored now, so i think this might be a long post?!
Gonna rant on yesterday's stuff. So random but ben said brb, gonna game and i said kays. Then he said he knows i hate that word, game. LOL. zz. Once guys go into game, they will be gone for at least 40 mins?! zz.
Something kinda freaky happened today? =/ That guy, he smsed today and told me that he's really serious and gave me examples to show?! Told him, it's not that i believe he's serious but it's been so long already!! Must learn to let go and move on, i believe there are other girls better then me? It's not that hard to find? I don't think i'm very good anyway. zz. Then he told me, like he tried to mingle around but still can't?! -.-" Said stuff like he really thinks i'm the one?! -___- This line kinda erm freaks me out?! Too serious .. scares me. zzz. Enough of him.
zz. I don't know how to continue on from yesterday. =/ Just some random point to start off, i don't think one necessary needs feelings to start a r/s? No feelings then look at the interest. Feelings and interest are kinda different but when u have feelings for that guy, you will have interest. I don't go for those give-it-a-try relationship if i already have someone in mind even thou that someone might have already state how he feels. I have erm two such cases before?! =x If you want to know who then ask me in msn then. hahas. But they never lasted long? Mainly because i lose interest kinda fast and i don't give alot? One, i never keep in contact already. The other one .. =) kinda my close buddy now. hahhas. =x
Good thing about those try-it-out, ... it's just kinda not-so-serious kinds? =/ Just see whether things can really go further but down side is that you tend to remember stuff even thou it means totally nothing at all and even thou you don't like him as in like .. but the break up part still sucks alittle?!. A little but not very serious kinds. LOL. Like .. u pass cine and u remember that used to hang around here but it's just a memory, nothing much. Your first boyfriend, your 10th boyfriend .. it doesn't matter the number but what you guys do .. what happened, how significant stuff took place .. you just remember. Maybe things happen, my thinking changes? I don't want to miss having a chance with that someone if i see a slight possibility of the future but having this thinking doesn't mean i'm a player! I don't accept everyone that comes along!! @_@ Alot of factors involved.
Hints, hahas. I know how to avoid them or just act blur like it's normal and i really don't get what they are trying to get to when they are being indirect la. -__- Direct cases, just have to be direct back, don't crap around the bush. But sometimes i react alittle too fast for my own good?! Esp when i'm surprised by a sudden confession in person, say stuff that i might not normally say. I used to be very kuku and say everything in a very nice way as possible but now .. i just say it simple? Not that i don't say it nicely anymore but the nice part i leave out sometimes. Sometimes the harsh truth just needs to be said when people JUST can't get it in their head.
// No idea why am i blogging about this but just need to write my thinking down so i can take a look next time?! LOLs.
Reality and ideal kinda different.
What ben ALWAYS tell me, i don't know why thou. I think everytime that i go out with him, he mentions it at least once. I know that! If i had look for my ideal, i think i would be most likely doomed to be single. hahas. And the guys that i like in reality are close to my ideal anyway, so no problem there, just that the guys that like me aren't the ideal ones and blah blah. zzz. He doesn't need to be very tall ( 165 and above is fine already ), doesn't have to be very good-looking just so-so, but most importantly that feel and able to crap together?! Simple. =) But then again, my taste in real life is also kinda limited?! Too close and i will deem you, off limits. And unless you have good looks in my books, i wouldn't take the first step to know you. Reality. Not that i don't talk to people who aren't AS good-looking but they just have to work abit harder to make up. This is a very complex matter but i think everyone understands this.
And this is SUCH a long post. I love pending down my thoughts then read through them and stuff. Might see things that you don't notice.
Two-timing.
I'm really on a roll here. lols.
But this question was randomly asked by my friend, he asked if i had the chance to two-time and i wouldn't get caught, would i do so. I told him, yah. And he zz, all sort of remarks. BEFORE, you people also kill me. Let me say why, the point is that i wouldn't be caught what! And me two-timing, doesn't mean that i'm not serious about my boyfriend anymore or love him anymore less. We just live once and since wouldn't get caught.. take the risk la! Life is nothing without risks. Not that i will two-time anyway, zzz unless you promise me 150% it wouldn't be exposed. For the fun of it, the thrill. woooooo.
The boyfriend.
I swear this is going to be the last one. I don't know who will be able to last this long anyway with my craps but all this is for myself to see in the future! lols. Someone that i like ( i don't need to go in detail about the characteristics, will take forever ), treats me nice .. just do stupid things with me. Go to the zoo with me, the beach .. trying new food .. walk all over sg, just sitting down and slack away.
Best is .. if he can go diving with me! That is really .. woosh!
Just love the thought of that. I hope next time if i get a boyfriend without a diver license, i will be able to pyscho him to learn or best .. he says he wants to learn without me saying anything! I think i will literally faint of joy! =)
I'm dreaming again. zzz. Unless he's willing to part with his money, dive courses are more expensive nowdays but i shall not talk about that. Dreams. zzz, i doubt that will happen! Enough already. I've been blogging since 21:50 and it's now 23:15!! So long!!
9:50 PM
Comments anyone?
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